1. Rain and cloudy sunshine on a beach are still better than doing laundry.
2. One little additional tequila shot can totally undo an evening of fun.
3. It’s rather easy to de-pants yourself when jumping onto an inner tube.
4. Dancing in 4.5″ Vegas heels without breaking an ankle is a challenge.
5. Having a complete kitchenette in your hotel room and a hubs who enjoys cooking is awesome.
6. I didn’t know sand could get in there.
7. You meet the nicest people during a tropical storm. In a bar. On a beach.
8. Electricity and running water turn out to be optional amenities in the islands.
9. Weak-ass bikini top fasteners really create a whole new level of adventure and surprise.
10. Waking up every hour throughout the night to make sure you don’t miss your 4:30am alarm so that you don’t miss your flight home is exhausting, but effective.

Attending the Cloud Cult concert at First “Purple Rain” Avenue last night in downtown Minneapolis made me realize how young I’m growing. I’m slowly returning to my band geek and orch dork roots.

Why do I know this? Because I had an orchgasm when I saw the chick bass player pick up a trumpet during the opening band‘s set. Had another when Cloud Cult’s violinist and cellist took the stage. AND trombonist.

Now, I have a thing for bass players, and especially for chick bass players, ever since I played with Michelle in our indie-whatever-rock band in Milwaukee (and trumpet players, thanks to high school band road trips and really cheap booze, but neveryoumind about that one). Damn, I can still smell the mold in our basement practice room, these 10 years later.

I guess my point is this:

Don’t let the tedious advance of life lead you into lazy complacency. Go to a damn concert once in awhile. It’s totally worth paying the babysitter.

Anyone who knows me well understands that I’m not um, a natural at the whole mom thing. I’ve got the food/shelter/clothing/snuggle/kiss-the-boo-boo thing down, yes, but beyond that, I’m at a loss. My mother blames it on my father’s side of the family.

Anyway.

Kirsten, my four-year-old, is staying home with me this short week. She just returned from Grandma Lyons House of Fabulous Toys, Non-Stop Attention and Cheetoes for eight days. I asked my husband – who has this whole mom thing down like you wouldn’t believe – to please make us a list of things to do. He even used holiday colors. See? I wouldn’t have thought of that.

(Just so you don’t think my hubs is a sissy boy, you should know he worked as a bouncer in college and can bench press like 800 pounds or something.)

Generalissimo Kirsten’s first act today was to impose a Forced Dance (see #1 on the list). Laurie Berkner rocks, by the way. This was quickly followed by the construction of a mermaid garden, performance of an ad hoc play (“Mommmm, just make it up as you go!”), and about two hours of cookie baking. Then it was lunch time. The rest of the day was a blur.

I’m exhausted.

I totally copped out for tomorrow. Hubs will work from home, and then we’re going to the Mall of America (#6 on the list).

UPDATE: Chris pulled a fast one on us. He dropped us off at the Mall, then “went shopping” – at another mall – for like two hours. I was pwned. Nice move, Lyons, nice move.

My grandma always said, “It’s always a good idea to use Supertramp lyrics in a blog post title.”

Anyway.

I have enough stuff, so I’ve asked my family to give to Epic Change instead of me this year for the holidays. Sanjay and Stacey over at Epic Change kindly posted my donation badge on their site, mainly because I have no idea how to put it on my own site.

Thanks, guys!

When you donate, you get to help out Shepherds Junior School in Tanzania, among other projects. Here’s what some of the volunteers over there sent me as a thank-you:

This is Junior. Awwwww!

If you’d rather just buy stuff, try the Epic Change Gift Shop.

There’s so much that we need to share. So send a smile and show you care. Supertramp said so.

It’s friggin’ cold, snowy, and sunny here in lovely St. Paul, MN. And when the sun melts stuff and freezes it into black ice, well, now we’re talkin’ about something much more interesting.

When I fishtailed into the I-35 median this morning, then shot across to the snowbank on the other side, I swear to god my first thought was, “wheeee!” but then I did the obligatory “holy shit!” and checked that I was ok. I was alone, and I didn’t hit anyone else, so whew. The lady who knocked on my window to see if I was ok scared the crap out of me, but I smiled and mouthed “I’m fine!” while dialing my husband to come get my shaken ass off the side of the highway.

Then I called State Farm and then immediately text-messaged Angela to tell her I was in an accident. This is because she is one of my closest friends, and she lives in my timezone, so I knew she was awake and would give me the proper amount of solace and sympathy. I love Angela!! My other close peeps were there for me, too. You know who you are. I heart you!!

It’s a Hoopty!

After driving my newly-made hoopty to the repair shop and then catching a lift home with Hubs, I immediately poured myself a one-finger tequila shot and knocked it back. It’s just as yummy at 10:30am as it is at happy hour, folks. I tweeted my experience, of course, and then went about my daily work.

Now, here’s the interesting thing.

Right around 5:00pm, I started crying, because I COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED this morning. One more holy shit moment, one more tequila shot.

This delayed reaction stuff really works. Amazing how your brain knows just when to spring it on you, right when you are just able to handle it.

I’m totally going to drink tonight.

I haven’t really traveled much since leaving IBM in May of this year. But Q4 in the software sales world kinda changes things. So, with the increased travel comes a change in family life.

Since returning from a recuperative three-day trip to the Jive Software mothership in Portland, OR yesterday, life has been all about my daughter (except for when I snuck peeks at my laptop when she wanted to play by herself). About 10 minutes after walking in the front door last night, I found myself making high-heeled paper shoes for the stuffed unicorn I brought home for her.

She’s been sort of sick all week, driving my saintly hubs slowly insane, so he got a pass to be completely absent today – he was in college football heaven in his basement man cave. Thank googly Iowa won.

Anyway.

Today was a windy, barely chilly, gorgeous Minnesota fall day. Lots of leaves were kicked and thrown while my girl and I walked, played, ate, and shopped all over our wonderful neighborhood for about five hours. While she ran around playing pirate at the neighborhood baseball diamond, I was busy changing the giant penis somebody had carved out of the hard-packed sand into a pretty flower vase. I think you can see it from space.

But, I think the best part of today was during our morning tea party, when my girl said, “Mommy, I love being with you.”

Yep. It was a great day.

You know what? I am just too pooped lately to come up with good blog posts. Pooped, I tell you. I’m so freakin’ busy with existing and prospective customers. For example, I LOVED the fun demo I did today for 2.5 hours with a prospect with whom I hope to work again! And I had a blast hanging out with two of my favorite people, Angela and Derek, last night. Sushi and gab. Of course, Angela and I stayed up until 1am Pacific gabbing some more after we left Derek, so I was dragging a wee bit of ass today. It was worth it, of course.

Oh,  one other thing that is blogworthy.

Last week my mom finally figured out how to text message me. She sent her message three times, then called me to find out if I got it. She’s so cute.